My Stock Market Observations

My stock market predictions that follow will help you as much as any. More at:

Stock Market Report…..

Today’s Stock Market Report:

Helium was up.
Feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off. 
Mining equipment hit a rock bottom.
Diapers remained unchanged.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
And … . . 
Charmin Tissue touched a new bottom

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