New Post….First one for 2014
If you want to modify behavior and performance, you have got to communicate what behavior modification you want and what you want your team or children to improve in.
Feedback is critical to changing behavior. You need to be continually giving both positive feedback and feedback on areas of improvement to your managers if you want them to become better Leaders.
The fact of the matter is that the more feedback we get . . . the better we become. Humans are just wired to think they are perfect, and we all have blind spots that we can’t see for ourselves. It often takes someone who sees us in action to give us feedback so we can modify a destructive behavior before it takes us down. If we don’t focus on the right things we don’t get the right outcomes.
We all have a reputation, and we are pretty much responsible for what it is. Actually we have many reputations. We have one from the person that we got back to when we said we would . . . and we have another reputation with the person who we forgot to get back to. I see so many people who have rigid personalities, and I know it all ends up with their not being very successful in their lives. Most people who are not happy with their lives actually brought most of it on themselves with their rigid know-it-all, unwilling-to-change attitude.
Many of you have asked me how to handle a boss who needs behavior modification. While often it is the “boss” who needs the behavior modification, that one is a little tricky. I would start by making sure that your behaviors are in good form, and we can worry about the “boss” later.
I have finally begun to learn that I can’t make people better leaders—that is their responsibility . . . but I can help them by giving them feedback, training and inspiration on their behaviors so they know how they are being seen by others and can come to realize they in fact can be better in all parts of their life.
Hopefully I have gained their trust, and they will believe me when I do give them that feedback. If there is one thing that you can do to help your career, I would say that it is understanding yourself and especially knowing those blind spots that you have. There is no doubt that two people can see the same thing differently, but you don’t want to be too far out in left field. Hopefully you are making it easy for those close to you to give you honest feedback, which is for your own good.
When you are in a leadership position the main responsibilities you have is to make your team better. Set higher expectations, communicate those expectations, and then be a great role model yourself for those higher expectations. Your organization will be just a great as you want it to be.
It is never too late to get better..Stay warm out there. The cold will end….Lee
PS: : Loving my Fitbit device which keeps track of how far I walk every day. Walked 53.80 miles last week. Now I am back to my 12th grade weight. It is also never too late to get healthier….Lee
A funny thought speaking of feedback,(I will qualify this by saying that I am not nearly as accomplished) you mentioned “I have finally begun to learn that I can’t make people better leaders” it reminded me of the words from Mario Puzo’s screenplay for “Superman” – “They are a good people, they wish to be. They only lack the light, to show them the way” – Happy New Year.
Lee, great article. Someone once told me, “there are two kinds of people in the world. Those who don’t have the right to hurt my feelings and those who are too big to hurt my feelings.” Over the years I’ve come to realize exactly what that means. If you act as if you have never earned the right to hurt someones feelings and you treat everyone else as if no matter what they say they never intended to hurt your feelings you will finally be able to change yourself both from the inside and from the incredible feedback you get and are open to hearing.
Thanks!
I totally agree. Thank you Lee for a great article. The quote “If we don’t focus on the right things we don’t get the right outcomes” is very powerful and true. I think I’ll make this my moto for 2014. I appreciate you and your blog!